In the spirit of Italia, this posting is dedicated to three men who carry with them a piece of my heart, mind and soul today… Armando, Troy and Lance… It is only appropriate that I share these reflections with you and the world on this commemorative day – a day which celebrates (if not by years, then by months) the entrance of your “presence” into my life, the ongoing gifts for which I am eternally grateful.
In light, love and learning, with all my heart,
“It’s yours.” Dar said as she unhooked it, removed it from her neck and enthusiastically slipped it into the palm of my hand.
“No, it’s yours… Really?” I replied, looking almost dumb-foundedly at the spontaneous gift.
“I knew when I bought it that it wasn’t going to be mine to keep – that eventually I would be giving it away… I just didn’t know who or when. I just checked in, and it’s you. You’re supposed to have it… Check in for yourself.”
Almost reluctantly I did my own muscle-testing check in, and received a resounding “yes”. No doubt about it, no matter what hesitancy there was in my mind, it was clear, the necklace was to be mine.
I held it in my hands for a while… my finger tips playing over the irregular textures of tiny chakra crystals nestled into each other in a string of rainbow-like colors – red, orange, white, green, light and dark blue, and purple.
“I knew it wasn’t supposed to be mine, because it doesn’t have the pink in it, for the higher heart chakra…” she continued, as if to read my mind.
Little did she know that at that moment I thought the “missing of pink” completely appropriate – since I had already been wearing my rose quartz from Australia for the last two days, and had chosen to keep wearing it for the duration of my upcoming trip to Italy…
“Besides, I think a beautiful Italian man is going to notice you in that necklace.”
I giggled a bit of a self-conscious giggle… why is it that when you tell people you are going to Italy as a single woman that they automatically jump to fantasies about being romantically pursued? But the giggle was more than that, and I knew it.
Dar was the fourth person in the space of less than a week, to not only suggest the possibility of a romantic encounter, but to almost state it outright, as if it was an inevitability – almost like a prediction or some kind of prophesy.
And if I knew anything from my own experiences, particularly in the last few months, it was that when God gives me a signal, one of the ways that signal comes is in a pattern of at least 3’s if not more, and from completely different and unconnected sources. This, again, was one of those times.
That exchange with Dar was a week ago now, at the graduation dinner of one of our colleagues, and from that point forward, neither the necklace nor the rose quartz bracelet have barely been off my body since.
Admittedly though, deep inside me there was doubt. Do I really allow myself to believe it? Do I dare? No matter how obvious the signal, if the opportunity really showed up, would I see it? Would I know it? Most of all… would I act on it?
I distinctly remember the moment that I opened up to the possibility becoming reality. It was as I sat in the Executive Lounge of the airport overlooking the Calgary skyline, waiting to board the plane to London – as I realized the magic that IS my life.
That my life IS wondrous; that there is anything and everything out there FOR me; not to mention already IN me, that I want for myself. All I had to do is choose. And I did. I set intention in that moment – consciously, lovingly, freely.
And since then, the adventure has been unfolding – compassionately, with gentleness, softness, passion, grace, and butterflies, lots and lots and lots of butterflies!
And what did I choose?
I chose to see, hear and recognize whatever signals there were abiding for me.
I gave myself permission to receive those signals. To know within myself, that I have the courage to allow and act upon every opportunity from a place of centeredness in my highest good, and to be in the moment with all of it.
Most of all, I affirmed to myself that particularly in the last two to three months, I HAVE already been exploring possibilities and new experiences – daily – free of expectation for anything but savoring the moment. And reminded myself how much I have thoroughly enjoyed participating in the unfolding of those possibilities, unbridled.
That is what this trip has been so far. An affirmation of that, and a confirmation that I can and… I am.
It’s funny though, you know… how most people make a trip like this out to be like it is the exception to the rule.
I hear phrases like “This is a once in a lifetime experience for you”, or “Make the most of it”, or they say “You have to see ________” or “Make sure you see _________” with a tone and delivery of the words like I’m not ever going to get back here again.
Yet here I am… on my 4th day of 11 full days here, and all I have done is go on walks, take pictures, write, sleep, meet new friends, and eat and drink to my heart’s content. Completely taking in the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and yes the touches too, of Italy. I’ve been charmed and enchanted by the courtship of my surroundings as they give affection to my senses, and I feel full.
And in my solace I am reminded that this trip is not the exception to the rule. That instead, it is endearingly a continuation of the journey.
I smile to myself again… remembering that day – the day when I articulated in writing and out loud to God and to myself, how much I desired to embody all that I believed in. How much I wanted every aspect of my life to demonstrate the power of being in alignment with source, and living in the moment.
It continues to be a path of learning and expansion which little did I know in June of 2006, would ever have led me here. And not just literally here in Italy, but “here” – in the places and spaces in which I am truly finding myself… in mind, in heart, in body, and soul.
This IS my life.
I breathe… taking the view of the rolling country-side from my chaise lounge in front of the Villa. Revelling in my new laptop and the ability I have to write this and create with it outside in the sunshine and among the purple daisies…
The cat who has befriended me rumbles a loud purr and weaves in and out of the legs of the chaise… He jumps up on my lap, contemplating whether or not he’s going to lay his warm black body on my arms as I type, only to jump down again. He positions himself directly under me, in the shade of the chaise, content to play lightly with the edges of my skirt as it hangs over the edge and gently catches the breeze…
I pause too, to play with the crystals around my neck as I watch his paws dart out from under the chaise, claws retracted, batting at the colorful folds of fabric. I sense the sparkle in my eye… giving gratitude for the fondness I feel – for the gift of living the mystery of my life.
The charm of this whole experience genuinely is a romantic encounter, and unquestionably, I am being romanced.